Focus On Your Strengths

Recently, I have started playing ping pong again.  Growing up, My Dad, my brother and I used to play ping pong all of the time!  We would have tournaments at night before we went to bed.  All three of us are pretty competitive people and none of us like to lose.  Over time, we would constantly try to get better and exploit each others weaknesses.  My weakness was and is my backhand shot.

I would spend hours trying to work on my backhand.  I would spend so much time working on overcoming my weakness.  Overtime, my backhand got a little better but has never become great.

I remember one day my Dad said to me, “Stop working so hard on your weakness and start focusing on your strengths.”  Huh, it never even occurred to me to do that.  My strength is my serve and forehand spike.  I started to work on my serve and my forehand.  What I found was this:  if I could serve it really well people would be forced to hit the ball to my forehand.  My serve would tee up my forehand spike!  As I worked on my strengths I began to become a better ping pong player.

Why is it so easy to focus on our weaknesses and ignore our strengths?  It could be because people tend to always point out our weaknesses and ignore our strengths.  They tend to see that one bad grade on your report card, or that one day you got to work late, or the one time you lost your temper, or that one accident or speeding ticket on your record.

What if we decided that instead of spending all of our time trying to improve our weaknesses, we asked God to help us in the areas we were weak and we poured our effort into our strengths.

The apostle Paul put it this way in 2 Corinthians 12:9,  But God said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

Did he really say that he would boast gladly about his weaknesses?  That sounds like a crazy idea!  What if it were true?  What if we could give our weaknesses to God and rely on His power?  What if we focused our effort on our strengths?

Everyone has strengths and everyone has weaknesses.

My good friend Les Morrison recently said, “if you look for the bad in people you will find it every time.”

What if we started focusing on our strengths and the strengths of others around us?

Let me tell you what would happen.  Our self-confidence would grow!  Our self-esteem would grow!  Our self-image would be positive! You would be able to say “so long insecurity” and “Hey there self confidence”!

Here is the challenge:

Make a list of five of your strengths right now.  List one way you can work on each one of those strengths going forward.

Remember, your life is NOT small.  You have so much to offer when you focus on your strengths!

Chris Rea

What Are You Thinking?

“Our thoughts become words, our words become our actions, our actions become our habits and our habits create our destiny.”

I really believe that the above quote could be one of the most powerful and life-changing statements ever made.  I’m just bummed I didn’t think of it.  When I first heard this quote it stopped me dead in my tracks.  If our thoughts become our words and our words become our actions and our actions become our habits and our habits create our destiny, we really need to be thinking the right things.

For some people, this creates a huge problem because all of your thoughts are negative and self-degrading.  You mind is full of fear, worry, doubt, and insecurity.  Therefore you speak negative words full of fear, worry, doubt and insecurity.  There is good news and there is bad news.  The bad news is that this thought process will lead to destructive habits and a destructive destiny.  The good news is that if you want to change the course of your life all you have to do is change your thinking.

I want to give you one key to changing your mind set.

1. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones

This is can be really hard to do because it’s much easier to believe the negative things about yourself than to believe the positive.  I know this from experience.  However, if you are going to have a victorious destiny that is worth celebrating, you have got to change your thinking.

There was a time in my life when I heard myself talking out loud and realized that I had become a negative person.  I had believed the negative thoughts for so long that I began to spew negative things out of my mouth.  I realized that my life was in a “funk” at that moment as well.  I was not my joyful, happy-go-lucky self.  I decided that I was going to replace the negative thoughts with positive ones.  If I can do it then you can do it too!

YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO DO THIS.  YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A SUCCESFUL MAN OR WOMAN IN THIS WORLD.  YOUR LIFE IS NOT SMALL! 

All you have to do is believe that and your life will begin to change for the better.  Positive things happen to positive people.  Some of you have believed negative things for so long that it has actually led to physical and emotional pain in your life.  It is time to conquer this area of your life.  It is time to think and speak LIFE.

Try this for one week, heck, try it for one day.  Replace the negative thoughts with positive ones.  When you think you are a failure, stop and say I am a success.  When you think you’re a bad husband, stop and say I am a great husband.  When you think you will never quit smoking, stop and say I am not a smoker.  When you think you’re a bad parent, stop and say I am the greatest parent.  When you think you are a bad person stop and say, I am a great person and with God’s grace and help I will become an even better person!

Change your thinking and your words WILL change, change your words and your actions WILL change, change your actions and your habits WILL change, change your habits and your destiny WILL change!

Chris Rea

Out With The Old and In With The New

December 31^st is the eve of a New Year.  I have to be honest this is one of my favorite times of year.  It’s a time to forget about the past and look forward with hopeful expectations towards the future.  It means that everyone gets a clean slate and a fresh start.  It can be a year full of endless possibilities. So many times we focus on all of our mistakes or short comings from the past.  People all over the world tend to be haunted by the big three: could have, would have, and should have.

I am here to encourage you to take the advice of a friend of mine.  His name is Paul.  Paul said, “forget what lies behind and strain towards what is ahead.”  There is no better time to take that advice than right now at the end of the year.

I want to give you some healthy exercises you can do going into a new year that will help you avoid the three headed monster of could have, would have, and should have.

1.  Celebrate your accomplishments from the past year.  List all of your successes on paper. (If you can’t think of anything, THINK HARDER!)

So many times we look toward the future and we forget to celebrate the past.  I know this past year could have been difficult for some of you.  Some of you have lost loved ones, some have dealt with physical or emotional pain/sickness, some of you have made some huge mistakes that have lead to regret and remorse.  Unfortunately, Marty Mcfly and Doc Brown don’t exist and no DeLorean I have seen can help you travel back in time and change the past.  Instead of dwelling on the past and bringing a negative mindset into next year, lets abandon that thought process and focus on the successes of the past year.

2.  Make a list of personal, spiritual, financial, marital, family, recreational, and career goals for next year.

Zig Ziglar, say’s if you aim at nothing you will hit it every time.  Let’s make a list of some measurable goals for next year.  For more on this refer to my previous blog Life to the full.

Here is quick look at some of my measurable goals for 2014:

• Work out for 30 minutes 5 days per week
• Read through the entire bible chronologically in one year
• Invest 10 percent of my income into retirement
• Take my wife to A Weekend To Remember Marriage Conference in February
• Go on a three-day golf trip with friends
• Turn my 5 part Dating Series into a book
• Read a minimum of one book per month to educate myself

Those are a few of my goals.  What are some of yours?

3.  Get help.

Some of you have dealt with addiction(s), emotional pain, or physical pain for way too long.  If you have been struggling with something for weeks, months, or years, hoping it will go away on it’s own, when you’re done reading this blog start researching how to get help today.  Things are not going to just get better with time, take a step towards healing today.

4.  Get involved in a local Church.

So many people in our society have stopped going to church.  Maybe you have stopped going or you only go once in awhile.  I want to encourage you to find a relevant, practical and thriving church that can help you grow spiritually.  Once you plug into that church, get involved using your gifts and talents and volunteer.  This is one of the leading ways people find fulfillment in their lives.

Take advantage of the New Year by celebrating/forgetting your past and looking forward to a bright future.  Your life is NOT small!  Living a life worth celebrating is possible in the New Year.

Chris

Life to the Full (Final Part of this blog series)

What are you willing to do to live a life worth celebrating this year??

Are you willing to work hard?

Are you willing to be decisive?

Are you willing to formulate a strategy for success?

Someone once told me that the difference between a dream and a vision is a plan.  Everyone is capable of day-dreaming.  Everyone is capable of dreaming big dreams.  The way a dream becomes reality however, is by having a strategic plan.  Owning your own business is a great dream, but unless it has tangible, measurable goals along the way, that dream will never become reality.  A detailed strategic plan allows us to achieve our goals.

 “Little details don’t make little differences they make all of the difference. “

I am going to give you a few simple ways you can start working toward your dream.

1. Define your dream on paper

What is the dream?  What is the thing you want to see yourself doing?

For example:  My wife and I wrote this statement when we started No Small Life:

 We want to help people live a life worth celebrating. 

That is our dream.  What is yours?  Maybe it is owning your own business, working from home, running a ministry, etc.  Take some time and think through this and then write it on paper.

2. Create a plan

The question Megan and I asked ourselves is this:  How can we help people live a life worth celebrating?  We brainstormed together and came up with several way:.  Creating a blog, creating resources, speaking to groups, mentoring, and life-coaching.  Once we had a plan then we began to think how to execute the plan.

3. Set measurable goals to achieve your dream

Goals have to be measurable and they have to be specific.  Losing weight is not a goal.  It is not measurable.  Losing 15 pounds in the next 3 months is a measurable goal.  You can measure it each month.  If you lose 5 pounds the first month you are on track.   Some of our measurable goals for 2014 were:

• Add Value to the lives of people through our blogs.
• Invest heavily into the lives of couples that were younger than us.
• Put on our very first Dating Conference.
• Turn our dating series Pursuit of Love into a book.

A few weeks ago Megan and I sat down and reviewed our goals for 2014 and created new goals for 2015.  We did achieve some of our goals for 2014 and on others we fell a little bit short.  We’re still learning along the way as well.

4. Educate yourself

If you don’t know how to do something you need to learn.  Don’t ever stop learning how to become better at what you do and who you are.  Read books, and surround yourself with mentors who can help you achieve your dreams.

The only way you can achieve your dream is if you are willing to work hard and create a strategy for success.  This blog series is by no means meant to give you all of the answers on how to live life to the full.  However, I believe that if you follow these steps you will be pointed in the right direction and on your way to living a life worth celebrating.

Chris

 

Life to the Full (part 3 of this blog series)

In order to live life to the full you need to identify your gifts, and talents. A good way to identify these gifts and talents is by asking yourself this question:

What am I passionate about?

For myself, I am passionate about teaching, and leading. I am also passionate about sports and spending time with friends. I know that God has given me these gifts and talents to make a difference in this world.  How can being passionate about sports make a difference?  One day, I was sitting in Buffalo Wild Wings talking to a guy about my fantasy football team.  He said to me, “I thought you were a Pastor.”  To which I replied, “I am”.  He then said, “Aren’t Pastor’s supposed to pray, and read the bible all day long?”  It then opened up a conversation for me to combine my passion for Christ and my passion for football together.  By the end of the conversation this person had a whole new perspective on Christianity, God… and the Detroit Lions.  It was one of those life-changing moments for both of us.

What are you passionate about?

Maybe it’s not teaching, leading, sports, or people.  Maybe, like my brother in law, you are passionate about robots, music, or video games.  Maybe you are an organized, behind the scenes, type of person.

The point is, once you identify your gifts and talents you can then begin to focus.  The problem with most of us is that we have so many things we want to do, we don’t focus on the main things that God has really wired us to do.

I want you to make a list of your unique gifts and talents.

These are the things you know you are good at and passionate about.  After the list is made, you can begin to think of ways you can use those gifts and talents to impact the world, and live a life worth celebrating.

Life to the Full (part 2 of this blog series)

Who do you do life with?  With whom do you spend the majority of your time?  The people that you live in community with are going to be the people who influence you the most.  Proverbs 13:20 says, “he who walks with the wise grows wise but a companion of fools suffers harm”.  The people that you surround yourself with are either going to help you live a life worth celebrating or they are going to drag you down with them.  If we are going to live life to the full then we need to surround ourselves with people who will help us become the best versions of ourselves.  They need to be people who selflessly want to empower us and not just dump their problems on us.  Jesus said the second greatest thing we could do in this life is “love people like we love ourselves.”  Do the people around you love you like they love themselves?  Do they love you unconditionally?  Do you love the people around you like you love yourself?

Once we have surrounded ourselves with a great community of people, then it is time to start looking beyond ourselves into the lives of others.  Often times, we get  so caught up in our own situation that we forget there are a number of hurting people in this world who need to be helped.  I have found that taking my eyes off of myself and trying to help someone else actually empowers me to live my life to the full.  I will never forget when I was 16 years old standing in a garbage dump in Mexico, watching teens my age sift through the trash to find something to eat.  It was the first time in my life my eyes were opened to how great my upbringing really was and how selfish I had become.  I want to encourage you to find someone who has it worse than you do and do something kind for them.  You will find that it unlocks a door to living life to the full.

Life to the Full (part 1 of this blog series)

Have you ever pondered the meaning of life?  Have you ever wondered what brings true happiness and fulfillment to your life?  I have found that the older you get the more you ponder, the more you think, and the more you want to live life on purpose.  Everyone feels lonely, everyone feels pain, and everyone experiences tough things in life.  Some people think that finding their “soul mate” will fill the emptiness they feel inside.  Some people think drugs or alcohol will fill the void.   Some people think the perfect job, or the perfect hobby will fill the emptiness.   Over the years, it has become evident to me that only one thing fills the emptiness.   That one thing is a relationship with Jesus Christ.  When you fully understand the depth of God’s love for you and you surrender your life to Christ he fills the emptiness.  That doesn’t mean everything in life is perfect after that moment.  It just means that you have the spirit of the Living God inside of you guiding your life.  Cultivating your relationship with God, by reading his word and spending time in his presence, helps you navigate through the great times and the hard times.  A relationship with Christ and the leading of God’s spirit helps us live life “on purpose” and discover God’s will for our lives.  If you want fulfillment, and you want true freedom, cultivate a growing relationship with God today.  Then you will be on your way to discovering the fulfilling life of purpose you have been dreaming of.

Chris Rea

Feeling Inspired

“The people who are crazy enough to change the world are the ones that do”  Steve Jobs

I just saw the movie jobs and I am feeling very inspired.  I can’t help but feel that somewhere inside all of us we believe we were made for more.  At one time, we believed that we had what it takes to do something great in this world.  What happened to us?  Why did we stop dreaming?  Why did we stop believing?  Why did we lose our drive to be greater?  I believe it is because we have bought into the concept that we don’t have to “reinvent the wheel”.  I have even said this to people at times in my life.  The truth is we don’t need to reinvent the wheel.  The wheel is a great product but what we do need to do is stop thinking like everyone else.  We do need to stop leeching off the dreams of everyone else.  There was a time in my life where I believed that the vision God had given me was going to change the world.  There was a time when I believed that I would be the one writing books, and dreaming of concepts that would change the world.  Over time, I began to start thinking like everyone else.  Over time, I began to think that it was ok to just be good enough to get by.  Here is the thing… I don’t want to be good enough.  The bible says, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” by the greatest creator in the history of all time.  I believe that he created me with a purpose and that he wants me to be creative, innovative and inspirational.  Let’s stop thinking and wishing we were like other people and let’s start becoming the people that we were created to be!  Our lives are NOT small!!  Be crazy enough to think YOU can change the world.

Chris Rea

(For More HE SAID blog posts click HERE)

Execute

Everyone has hopes, dreams, and visions for an amazing future.  How many times have you had an idea for an invention, or book, or movie, or TV show?  How many times have you sat around thinking about what you could do in the future?  A vision is a picture of what the future could look like.  What is your vision?  What could your future look like?  God has wired us and created us to have big dreams, and live fulfilling lives.  However, somewhere along the lines we have settled for the mundane and mediocre.  We have settled for what seems safe instead of going after our dreams.  I have found something out in life….  Everyone has vision and everyone has hopes and dreams for the future.  However, as life progresses we get stuck.  Fears that we don’t have what it takes to live out our dream replace the Hopes and dreams for our bright future.  We go from living to existing and we never execute the vision or dream that God has placed in our heart.  My wife (Megan) and I have been talking about having a website, ministering to young couples, and writing books for years.    It has always seemed distant and unattainable.  Over time, our lives, dreams, and hopes went from being very big to being very small.  We found ourselves just living week to week with no picture of the future.  Well guess what, the time to execute is now.  No Small life is the result of a dream that God has placed in our heart to convince people that they have something to share, that they have amazing gifts and talents that would benefit the people in this world.   Start formulating a plan to execute the vision for your life that is deep down in your heart!  Your life is NOT small!  It is full of opportunities and possibilities.  Take a step toward fulfilling your dreams today!